Monday, July 29, 2013

12 Reasons Why Hufflepuff House Is Actually Badass


1. The common room is right next to the kitchens.
Gryffindor, Slytherin, and Ravenclaw are all like 50 flights of stairs away from the food. Studies have shown they have 27% more wizard angst as a result.

2. It’s also basically a hobbit hole. Bilbo didn’t want to leave and neither will you.
“It is round and earthy and low-ceilinged; it always feels sunny, and its circular windows have a view of rippling grass and dandelions.” Like seriously, there are even foot warmers.

3. The house ghost is super chill.
Nearly Headless Nick has identity issues, The Grey Lady is depressing, and, as anyone who’s ever played the PC games knows, the Bloody Baron will try to kill you. Meanwhile the Fat Friar’s just like, “Yo dude y’all do whatever you want, Imma just be chilling in the kitchens until further notice.”

4. But the mascot is METAL.
Apparently J.K. Rowling was going to make the Hufflepuff mascot a bear, but upon further consideration must have realized that bears care too much.

5. We had RPatz before he was RPatz.
‘Sup, witch?

6. We also have Tonks.
Remember that time you were reading the fifth book and it was like angst angst angst angst WAIT A MINUTE THIS CHICK IS AWESOME. That’s right. You do.

7. And after Gryffindor, Hufflepuff had the most people stick around to fight Lord Voldemort.
Remember that time Hogwarts was under siege and all the Hufflepuffs wussed out? That’s right. You don’t.

8. Everyone says we don’t have any defining qualities, but we actually have some pretty good ones. Like, we work hard.
“For Hufflepuff, hard workers were most worthy of admission.” Group projects are like a non-issue in this house.

9. We know what it means to be loyal.
“You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal.” Think about it, this is the only house that doesn’t have a traitor. Gryffindor has Peter Pettigrew, Ravenclaw has Xenophilius Lovegood, and Slytherin has like… everyone. But Hufflepuff? Your word is gold.

10. We’re NICE.
Hufflepuff is the “friendliest, most decent house of them all.” In fact, we turn out the fewest dark wizards.

11. And finally, we’re the most open-minded.
“Said Hufflepuff, ‘I’ll teach the lot and treat them just the same.’” The other founders are being all high-maintenance and competitive about who to let in and Helga’s just like WHATEVER PARTY AT MY PLACE. Like, you know this house is leading the charge on all the wizard civil rights issues.

12. But you might not know any of that, because Hufflepuffs are generally too humble to brag.
That’s why we need lists like these.

So if you’re a Hufflepuff, be proud.

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